Oh the things that you do...

To be as cheap as you possibly can:

At 20 years old, learn what you should have when you were 8: paint your own fingernails to avoid spending your precious pesos on a manicure.

Or…an even better tip:

Always wave a 100-peso bill in the ornery cashier’s face and I guarantee you that that latte you just ordered is FREE. In Argentina, it’s customary for people to refuse to open up the register to give you your change.

To feel better about yourself as a human being:

Be the chivalrous young person you should be and offer your seat to the old lady or man struggling to remain standing on the subway. The whole act still baffles me because it appears that in trying to be nice, you’re basically saying, “Hey you, you’re old and weak. Let me remind you that I am young and strong. Please sit down on this lightly padded subway bench, even though it could be possible that I, myself, am incredibly tired as well.” Insidiously offensive? Apparently not.

To be green:

Refuse to pay 10 pesos every time you need to quench your thirst. Recycle those water bottles and simultaneously poison yourself with the carcinogens lodged in the plastic.

To curb your hunger:

Go ahead, spend three pesos on a little box of tic tacs. Don’t think that you’re saving any money though. You are still so hungry that the next day you will have to go and get another 3-peso box from the kiosk on the corner. You might as well have purchased some Don Saturs to build up both your stores of potential energy and the new layer of blubber that has appeared right in time for spring in Argentina.

To feign comprehension:

In a foreign country, just make sure you know how to say, “yes” because it will probably be the only thing you can solidly say to another person to make them think that you understand what they are talking about. When the professor asks you at the end of her three-hour lecture if you got a lot out of the class, just nod your head, smile, say “si,” and run as fast as you can out of the building.

For love:

Expand your waistline as you treat yourself to the cheapest medialunas in Buenos Aires, but only so that in the process of passing the barista behind the counter your one peso, you can be as daring, awkward, and forward as you possibly can by also slipping into his hand a little piece of notebook paper with your number scribbled on it.

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On this glorious day, I thought and/or accomplished these things…all while holding my very free and very delicious steaming latte from the Starbucks a few blocks away from my university.

Oh, the places (I'll) go? Looks like probably NOT!!!